Part of grieving for someone we have lost is grieving for the loss of that connection. Our relationships are part of who we are, so when that person is gone, we are changed. Of course, with time and healing, we can grow from our experiences of loss, but the fact remains that we will never be the same again. We have been forever changed by our experience.
Three years after I lost my husband, and two years after my father died, I found myself confronted with these losses all over again. Grief is like that. It sneaks up on you just when you think you have gained control over it, and you have moved on with your life. For whatever reason, I became acutely aware that I needed something from them. Some kind of sign, or something. I needed to feel that maybe the relationships had not been severed completely after all.
During a chance conversation with a friend, she mentioned that she had recently been to see a medium, and I wondered if I could be brave enough to make an appointment. I was very sceptical. An appointment with a medium sounded like a show on Netflix, at least to me.
However, I trusted this friend and figured I had nothing to lose, so I would give it a go. On a cold, snowy December night I found myself driving north from Newmarket and seriously questioning my sanity. On the way to the address, I did something I had never done before. I spoke out loud to my husband in the empty car, feeling very foolish as I did so.
I said, “Mark, if this is for real, get her to ask me about your ring”. When I arrived I checked that my colourful scarf was wrapped around my neck, completely hiding his wedding ring, which I wore on a thick silver chain at all times. After she had correctly told me that the first spirit she saw was an older man with the initial J (My dad was Jim), she went on to say that there was another spirit coming through, a younger man whose name began with M.
By this point, I was already speechless (not a common occurrence for those of you who know me), but I was only allowed to answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’, so I could just about manage that.
Next she asked me “Do you wear something which belonged to your husband?” – Yes.
“Is it his ring?” – Yes.
Then she paused and burst out laughing. “Did you get him to make me ask you that?” – YES!
My appointment lasted for over two hours and the medium shared many details about me and my family which she couldn’t possibly have known, including a detailed description of the view from my dad’s study in Scotland, where he had a beautiful view of the garden from his desk.
That evening was a turning point for me. She helped me to understand that, although they are no longer physically here, our relationships do survive. They are watching over us, I can feel it.
I am no longer a sceptic.
If you would like to learn more, you can reach me at www.juliecryns.ca or by email at julie@juliecryns.ca
