Yesterday was St. Patrick’s Day. It would also have been my 20th wedding anniversary. When a colleague at work asked if it was a difficult day for me, I told her, “No, not really. It’s been 10 years since he died.” Less than five minutes later, I received a text from my son at university: “Happy Anniversary with Dad”. Suddenly the memories came flooding back, and my eyes filled with tears. I went off to teach Grade 2 French and, when they asked about my “shiny eyes”, I told them my spring allergies were bothering me.
Ten years seems like a long time, but it doesn’t feel like it. Although my kids and I have moved on, and I happily remarried in 2019, the memories are still there. Their dad naturally comes up in conversation sometimes, and I cherish those moments. I think it’s important to keep the memory alive. After work yesterday, I returned home to find a beautiful gift of roses from my husband! He recognized and acknowledged that it was still a special day, and I’m so grateful for his generous spirit.
Whether it has been one month, one year, ten years, or twenty years since we lost a loved one, it is important to acknowledge that loss, whenever we need to. Anniversaries are the obvious occasions, but it can happen at any time, whenever we feel the need to do so. There is no time limit on grieving.
If you need grief support, whether your loss was recent or not, please contact me at www.juliecryns.ca or julie@juliecryns.ca
